💭 Personal Reflection

If you have had a very hard time finding or keeping an ideal partner, this book might be a complete eye-opener and a must-read.

Many behaviours that we had previously labelled as exaggerated “could now be understood with clarity and precision through the lens of attachment theory.”

Attachment theory is an area of research focused on child development, parenting and romantic relationships.

This book, however, is only focused on romantic relationships.

You can expect to learn how different attachment styles impact those relationships.

According to the book, there are three main attachment styles.

1. Anxious: They are often preoccupied with their relationship and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.

2. Avoidant: They equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

3. Secure: They feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

The book is broken down into four main parts.

• Part 1: Is all about discovering your attachment style and your partners.

• Part 2: Are examples of how these attachment styles behave in everyday life.

• Part 3: Explains the anxious-and-avoidant trap and how to escape it.

• Part 4: Teaches the secure way to create a healthy relationship dynamic.

I always like it when academic research is turned into practical lessons for everyday life, and this is no exception.

The main takeaway I took from the book is that…

“The key to creating a stable relationship dynamic is knowing how to communicate your expectations and respond to your partner’s needs without having to resort to protest behaviour…”

Remember that, "true love, in the evolutionary sense, is peace of mind.”

Hope this helps. Until next week!

- Agustin